Today, I'm grateful for life.

It's really crazy to think that had it not been for God's intervention four years ago, I wouldn't be alive. So today, I'm beyond grateful for what He has given to me: my life, redemption, and a new chance to live apart from my selfishness and pride. This God is a God of miracles. Not only has he saved my physical life, he's saved my soul from the clutches of sin. Not only has he healed my physical body, he's healed my spiritual being.

But what about the thousands, the millions of those that die by their own hand or by tragedies outside of their control? How is it that I can stand here while they have the flames of their lives snuffed out as quickly as they came flickering into this world? It's a twisted, broken world that we live in, a world caught up in the darkness that invaded the perfection that God had intended for Man. This world is full of decay, disease, and death. And each day is a painful reminder of our frail nature here on earth as we read headline after headline about the newest death or injustice or war or tragedy. Each day is a painful reminder that here, where we live, is not our intended home. We were made to be with God.

But what arrogance it is to declare that God's plans supersede our own! What arrogance it is to declare that we are sinful, messed up people! What arrogance it is to say that Jesus is the only way, that God is the only god, that the way that we live is just not right! What arrogance it is that God has chosen some people to live and others to die- how unfair! What arrogance it is that God has 'plans' for those who live, but not for those who die young and unexpectedly!

But what kind of arrogance bends down to the smallest creatures and provides for them? What kind of arrogance would give breath to the smallest infant? What kind of arrogance would grant life to a race of individuals who would grow into rebels decrying their own maker? What kind of arrogance would stoop to love the poor and fatherless, to heal the sick and broken? What kind of arrogance would lay down its own life to provide peace for the helpless? What kind of arrogance is this?

We make up answers as to who has given us life as if we're afraid to look bigger than ourselves and accept that perhaps there is one greater who has crafted each soul carefully and lovingly. We look past any existence of a God, refusing to believe that we are responsible for each action we take and thought we have. But what if there was a God that did painstakingly handcraft each life that we see around us? Who would we think we were, questioning him? If he had plans for every single life, we wonder, why then are so many ended early and unfairly? Perhaps it's not enough just to say that we can't ask. I just don't know the answer, but he does. But it's not as if each life is wasted. No, each life, in its own way, points further to the depravity of Man and the glory of God, no matter how early or late it is ended.

We can't choose our lives. They're given to us. Gifted to us. We don't hold the rights to our lives. They're privileges. Who are we to take our lives for granted, then? We don't know this moment from the next or what's going to happen in five years or if we'll even be alive in five years. We're the arrogant ones. We're the ones thinking that we have complete control over our lives when we can't even predict our own deaths. That's the only thing that we can all really be sure of. We will die.

...But that's what makes life beautiful... because in life, there is hope beyond death, and it can be found in the person of Jesus Christ. He is life embodied, through and through. He is hope eternal, and his message and life provide the answers our hearts yearn for. Look to Him, friend. I beg of you; I plead with you. His death has brought me life- and this is no stereotypical Christian lingo here- the truth of His life and death has literally brought me from the verge of death. Look to Him and see who He really is.

He paints a better picture of life than I could ever hope to sketch.

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I don't deserve this life that I live. With each breath that I take, I realize more and more how blessed I really am. I'm actually breathing. I'm actually living.

Today, I'm grateful. I'm grateful for life.

This is Jesus

He came for the weak and the weary, the broken and lonely. He bled for the sick and the worthless. He gave himself up for the arrogant and insolent. He died for the hated, the fatherless, the rich, the poor. He lay himself down for the bitter, the angry, the confused. He hung on a cross for the ones who never gave him a second thought. He was crushed for those who mocked and ridiculed him as he was lifted upon that tree--an image that would forever become a symbol of silent sacrifice and peace amid a world of terror and chaos.

And the part that makes the least sense of all... He came for you and me.

Looking Forward

But now, as I walk away from my home, church, and friends of 14 years, it is now my time to slip away from the life I held there, to lay down all that I ever thought or made myself to be and to rest before the cross of Christ.

A new life I had hoped for, a new life I'll get. 

Looking Back

The sweetest moments in life are built with the ones you love, the friends that you hold closest to yourself, the ones God has given to provide the beautiful gift of companionship. I wish I knew how to love people. Faces and names spin by me as I reflect on these past 14 years. I wish I could have been a better friend to all those around me.

But what use is there in dwelling in angst-filled retrospection? All of this simply paints a better hope for the future.

From Dust... to Dust

The more I live, the more I see that life was never--and will never be--about me. And the more that I see of life, the more I realize that I really don't see much at all. It's truly humbling and perspective-changing. There is no point in living for myself, as joy is fleeting and insignificant when I become the center of my universe. All I will ever become is simply a memory. Whether I'll be loved, remembered, or forgotten, I'll never know. I'd rather become part of something far bigger than just me and my name. I'd rather be remembered for bringing glory to the one who created me. I'd rather not be remembered, but have God's name be in my stead. But still, none of us will ever know what we'll be remembered as- and perhaps that's the beauty of death. We're easily forgotten so that the one whose life really does matter could be remembered.

This life is far too short for us not to realize our calling. This life is far too short for us not to express ourselves for God's glory. This life is far too short for us to hide our love and joy for others. This life is far too short for us to let walls build up between friends. This life is far too short for us to not live out every moment to the fullest. This life is far too short for us not to shout out from all aspects of our lives the magnificence and glory of Jesus Christ.

Because after all, we are but a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.

From dust to dust we shall go. But let this brief period of time that is life be one full of joy, love, faithfulness, hope, and edification of others and the God that has rescued me from my sin.

This here is just my feeble attempt to keep my thoughts together as I walk this path.